Darts good

Got out last night to do some drinking and darting. Havent played much darts since D left the theatre. Went to a downtown bar. Had made arrangements for 7 but I decided to get dinner there earlier, about 630. Of course, I forgot that I chose 7, 'cause that's when the Hockey game started, and the bar would empty out. Of course, at 630 it was wall to wall, and the back section was a reserved party. Waited about 15 minutes for a table by the only dartboard not in the back section. S opted for a home night, but one of our other crew people came too, and TD. A nice sized outting, though it was just TD and D and I who were shooting. D won most of the games, but I got one at the end. I was shooting like crap. I need to start shooting at work again. It's been way too long. Mindful of this young lady's reprimand that I drink too much (I've mentioned her before, but not named her. Call her M), I only had two beers, one with dinner. I also didn't want to blow all my money. I've always been attracted to M, and have known her as long as I've been here, and what she thinks of me matters to me. She mentioned maybe going out to a movie some time, the new Pacino flick. Definitly a possibility. I wouldn't mind a date with her either. We'll see.

A Friday five worth doing

1. What do you like or dislike about autumn?
The smell, the cooler temps, the color are all wonderful things.

2. Have you raked leaves into a pile just to jump in them?
Of course, but not for many years. Now it would have to be a Very big pile.

3. Have you ever carved a pumpkin and how did it turn out?
I used to carve them every year. Now, I just cut them up and get the meat.

4. Have you ever eaten anything made from pumpkins other than pie?
I make pumpkin puree each year, and freeze it for pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, Pumpkin-brown sugar dessert bars, etc. I love eating pumpkin as any other squash.

5. Where is a good spot to see the leaves change color where you live?
Just today I was on the 12th floor of the office building next to where I work, and the view out over the city was fantastic. Especially in Autumn, you can see why it's called The Forest City. Except that, the best place is out at the State Park. Gorgeous.

Frustration and loneliness

I had a bout of severe frustration today. One of the young ladies that works in the same building as me, today, was wearing a blouse that tended to ride up her back as she worked. This caused that wonderful expanse of bare skin at the small of her back to be exposed. Not especially overt, only a hint of underwear and the barest hint of the top of her butt, but so extremely erotic to somebody as ... shall we say, unfulfilled, as I am at the moment. Where my hand so wanted to go, my mind went fully. I remember being able to touch a woman there, the most erotic spot on a womans body. To gently trace with my fingers that exposure, across the width of back, to run my hands along the waistline of her jeans from spine to stomach, ending in a warm hug. Ah, well, at least I kept it to myself and am only a dirty old fool in my own heart.

Overheard in New York

October 17, 2005

It's Like a Steven Wright Wet Dream

HS boy #1: Okay, who's Pavlov?
HS boy #2: I don't know, it doesn't ring a bell.

--N train

Plans

Mid week.
Ideas finally began to click yesterday after the read-thru for Alice. It's a great cast, though Kordo may be going a bit overboard in his exuberance to finally be working with an adult cast again, getting a bit raunchy, forgetting that 'Alice' is still only an 18yr old (with a protective mother).

Begining to make plans for the rest of the week. This Thursday is the Anderson Gardens Free day (ooh, I just had a thought. Are they still open??) I'd like to go if they still are. K is on vacation from her job, maybe I'll see if she would like to go. Friday is the Ice Hogs season opener, but they raised ticket prices way up. Now sideline lowerlevel seats are almost 20 bucks! and the end-zone nosebleed seats are 9. Four price zones, upper and lower side or ends. The upper seats are really way back, but will probably be all I can afford this season, at least for a while. So it looks like I may go out for drinks and darts again, with the friend that couldn't do it with us last time. It'll be cheaper at least. I'll also be hanging lights on Friday, so that my be an influence on what I do that night. I may not get out of work until late. I also may end up coming in on Saturday to finish up. It's a huge plot to hang, almost all of my equipment.

Enough for now, I gotta start drafting my final plot.

Cool idea

Just came across this site. It's a cool concept. Every city should have one.

Weekend update

I just realized that I never said how my date went on Tuesday (whoa, I just realized I never mentioned. I had a date on Tuesday). A great time was had by all. We went to see the group Chanticleer, an all male singing group, similar to the Kings Singers. 12 voices, doing everything from Italian Renaissance antiphony, to contemporary chinese vocal soundscapes. One piece they did was Australian influenced, and you could swear that they had a digeridoo hidden in their pants leg (Is that a digeridoo in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?), which then transitioned into a drone, not unlike Tibetan overtone chanting. Just phenomenal, a real treat to hear. The concert was held in a local church, and the place was packed to the rafters. Most of the singers performed in at least two ranges, normal and falsetto, in order to get the soprano sound. However the power and clarity of their tone in falsetto was as strong as a natural soprano. No mics, and the sound filled the church. It was a benefit for a local music society, and there must have been 500 people in there.

We had made plans to play poker on Saturday evening, after the first show, but nobody showed up. It seems that E. was IN a cabaret performance at the college where she works. Of course, S was the only person who was told about this, so nobody else got to see her. Though S even said that she didn't feel like doing anything, and she left the cabaret at intermission; that if she HAD remembered the poker night, she would have backed out. That was the night that was so unproductive for me (the most productive thing about the night was the realization that I can procrastinate for two more weeks). A poker night would have been very welcome. oh well. It'll probably be a few weeks before we can think about doing it again.

Tonight was closing and strike for Over the Tavern. The last show was also totally sold out. Really good to see that many people in our theatre. Strike was laid back. We planned on only doing furniture and props, and all sound and electrics, to make way for the set strike tomorrow. We did manage to get all the props (a buttload of those) packed up and put away back in the storeroom upstairs or down in the basement.

Not looking forward to tomorrow. We have to go to the actor housing and move furniture and fix up the apts. to make them suitable for habitation. Could be a big job. Not like we don't have enough other things to do with our time, say, like, OUR JOBS!

Oh well. enough griping. Now to bed. It's getting cold enough that I'm appreciating the cat sleeping with me...

Crap!

I'm bored, and artisticly blocked. I'm having a hard time visualizing our next show, Alice in Wonderland. As a result, I can't see what it's going to look like, and I can't design lights, let alone get creative, if I can't see it in my mind. I did have an idea of how to do the falling in the rabbit hole bit, but I'm not real sure where it happens on stage. I think it'll work. Simply rain upwards. But now, I'm bored, and spending way too much time here on the computer, reading blogs or other mindless sites. I should probably just go home. I'll be back tomorrow, and can work on it again then. By Wednesday, though, I need to be drafting the final copy. First Rehearsal on Tues. Maybe that'll help... Hmmm I guess I don't really have to pick color yet, I don't focus for another two weeks. I have over 300 bucks left in my budget. What to buy. I'll probably have to get some color. maybe another prismatic gobo, which I can also maybe use in Midsummer Night Dream.
We'll see.

I'm bored.

A dilemma

I'm now pretty sure that S doesn't know about my blog. She's made some offhand comments that, if she knows about this blog, she probably wouldn't make. I think it's probably for the best, since I end up talking about her quite a bit here now, she being one of the few people I enjoy hanging out with outside work. The source of so much joy and frustration. She also has a blog (was actually my introduction to Blogger.com and all my friends blogs were linked off of hers), but was inactive for a long time. She's back now, posting a lot of photos, and not much about her or her life, or thoughts. She's also restricted her comments to only her oldest blogging friends. Not being able to comment on her blog entries got me thinking (you know THAT's dangerous). I don't allow her to comment (even see) my blog, why should it bother me that I can't comment on hers? I hate hypocrisy, and I hate it especially in myself. I guess the way to avoid that is to stop going to her blog. It won't be an easy thing to do, I love peering into peoples lives. Yes, call me a voyeur. But, hey, if I can stop (or almost stop) drinking, I can do this. Right?
The other option is to let her know about my blog. Gotta think about that. I don't know how she'd feel about knowing my innermost thoughts and feelings. I don't think she wants to be THAT close to me.

oh yeah...

Oh yeah, and the car is now fine. Bad news is that it cost $280. The good news is that it was only $280. Clogged injectors and new spark plugs. Of course it was $60 to hook it up to the engine diagnostic computer and get the reading that it was mis-firing. DUH! That's what I told them! And they want me to bring it back sometime soon for its 30K tune-up. Yeah, right.

Again with the 5 years ago crap...

While waiting at the Saturn dealership, I ran into a CYT (cute young thing, for you youngsters...) who used to work at my theater 5 years ago. Miss Fox (so very appropriatly named) is now Mrs. with a 2yr old son. WOW. While chatting, she asked who else was still there. "Well, there's L... and that's about it." Everybody else has either been fired or came in after that. I need a life.

5 years ago - followup

Just re-reading my post from Monday. I came to the last one, 5 years ago. I started thinking back a bit more, and thought about all the people I didn't know then. N and S. TD. Boss. Am I a better person for knowing all of them? Maybe. Define 'better'. I'm different, I know that. Life is more interesting, that's for sure. For better and worse. Remember the old chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.

Money is continuing to be a problem. Now the car needs service. Some days it just doesn't want to fire on all cylinders. Could be anything from plugs to distributor, I guess. Still no word from State Farm on the review of our claim (I guess I never went into details here. They've stopped reimbursing for meds, or even paying bills pending a review of our claim. All prescriptions we buy we've not been reimbursed.). Our lawyer skipped town without forwarding information to anybody, forcing us to go to another lawyer and start from scratch again. Thankfully all the appropriate suits were filed before the limitations expired. And now the car. It'll be another 3 weeks or so before my next influx of surprise money/design fee for the next show across town.

I'm surprised that I'm not drinking again. Except for the beer while darting last friday, I haven't had any booze. Yes, I miss my friend, The Captain.

A Monday Meme

Monday Meme 21 : 2005-10-10 : Recent History 5's

1. What were you doing 5 minutes ago?
Browsing pictures at KillSomeTime.com

2. What were you doing 5 hours ago?
Getting ready to leave work, saving my CAD drawings so I don't lose them again when the program seizes up.

3. What were you doing 5 days ago?
Trying to track down my digital camera. It turns out that the PO Box that they told me to send payment to is only opened once or twice a month!

4. What were you doing 5 months ago?
Ending up last season, trying to look ahead to a summer of painting the ceiling and shepherding outside shows while trying to hold onto my enjoyment of my work.

5. What were you doing 5 years ago?
The same shit I'm doing now.



Only enjoying it more.

I was the 84th person to take this week's Monday Meme!

Darting

It was a fun night last night, and I'm in a much better mood today. I'm still here at work much later than I should be, but oh well. It was a larger turnout than I expected, S, E, TD, A, and me. We ended up going to a bar up by S's apt, and it was ok. I shot darts with TD, and, in the last game, actually shot a "hat trick" three bullseyes in one turn (it actually would have counted 5 if I'd had the double-bull option turned on). It was a come from behind miracle win. We sat and chatted quite a bit first though, and E and I actually chatted as we used to. It's times like that that I have hope of actually being a friend of hers again. (Then the realist part of me tells me to get stuffed.) One other of our crew, D, made me promise to let her know when we do it again. Makes me think I haven't entirely alienated myself from her either. Now I just have to watch the various dating relationships in the crew without getting jealous or overprotective. As I said, a good night.

Be careful what you wish for..

The other day I was looking for new reading material. I ended up picking up LotR again. It's been a while.
Tonight, I found three new books I want to read. The Emma and the Vikings book I previously mentioned, and then I found that Neil Gaiman has a new one out, a sequel to American Gods, called Anansi Boys. While doing a library search, I found another one of his that I hadn't read, Stardust. Well, the library has the two Gaiman books, so those are good potential. The dilemma is what to do with LotR? Put it down? Now? They're just approaching Moria! Put the others off until I finish LotR? But... but... anhhhhh!

New Book

... for my wishlist. I saw it on the Onion. Sounds cool.

October

Wed evening, one of the actors hosted a pumpkin carving party. I decided not to go, saving up my Wife points for darts on Friday (you know, saying "I'll stay home tonight but I'm going out on Friday".). Not that it didn't sound fun. It probably would have been, despite there being a crowd of actors who don't usually associate with me (actors can be that way. Theatre is very cliquy. Actors associate with actors, and techies with techs.). S was showing some photos she took of the party. Lots of people, lots of pumpkins. I'm also one of those who grew up using the whole pumpkin. Cut it open, save the seeds for roasting. Scrape the pumpkin, getting the walls down to about 1/2" thick to get most of the meat out. Save the meat for baking into puree for pies or soup. Then carve. and use a candle to light it. Usually we got big pumpkins for us kids to carve, and two or three smaller ones for baking; the meat is more tender, less stringy. If the pumpkin is only for baking, you don't have to save the shell, just cut it open and bake! It is a squash after all. I was a little miffed that all my pumpkin carving bookmarks have turned out to be dead links. It's amazing what the technology is now with pumpkin carving. There are also some really creative ones out there. Oh well, I guess I don't need pumpkin carving links in this post. Maybe I'll share some pumpkin recipes

Minor Annoyance

I just looked it up. Back at the end of July, moving N out of her apt., I mashed my finger in the cage-style elevator door. It is now grown out to the point where the nail is separated about a third of the way across the quick, and maybe half way down the nail. Not seperated enough to cut it off with clippers, but enough to catch on stray objects and snag. I don't mind losing the nail, but I hate the process.
I also found myself getting my blood pressure up about Wife today. About a relative triviality. Late last week, my good nail clippers disappeared from the bathroom. Wife is good about taking them and not returning them. She said that she thought they had dropped onto the floor. I've been searching for 5 days, halfheartedly at first, and now thoroughly. Then last night, she admits that she's pretty sure they fell into the flower vase sitting on the sink. Sure enough, there they are, rusted as hell. Now these clippers are about 30 or 40 years old. They don't make nail clippers like these anymore. Sharp, clean cut, heavy duty and well built. The fact that they RUST says something about them. The fact that a) she didn't dump them out when she knew they fell in pissed me off. and b) that she didn't tell me they were in there for a week.
Gods, sometimes I really want a drink. I will on Friday. Payday. Darts at a bar with friends.

Finally, a good Monday Meme

Monday Meme 20 : 2005-10-03 : Super Powers

1. If you could fly for a day, where would you go?

It depends on the speed.
Flying like a bird, I would just see the area around my town, see the river meander across the land.
Flying like a jet, I'd go somewhere warmer; or see Norway, as I've always wanted to.

2. If you could turn invisible for a day, what would you do with the power?

Aahhh, one of my oldest fantasies. Beyond the usual perverted, voyeuristic, stuff, and then the usual larcenous easy-money stuff, I don't know. The concept of invisibility is intriguing, check out the book, Memoir of an Invisible Man. It explores the drawbacks of being invisible (i.e. the food you eat ISN'T invisible. Yuck).

3. If you could teleport for a day, what adventures would you have?

I've been thinking, wishing, a lot recently about being able to visit old friends. Highschool and theatre friends from Mich. 'N' in B'more. My old highschool in Antwerp. An old friend in LA. Pretty mundane stuff, but more than I can conceive of doing normally.

4. If you could change your appearance like a chameleon for a day, how would you use the ability?

Hmmm. My first response was that I wouldn't. Then I began to consider all the things to do that would rely on eyewitness identification to thwart; Bank robberies, etc.

No, I probably wouldn't use this one.

5. If you could have any super power for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? Would you ever use your power for selfish reasons? Would you ever hurt anyone (either physically or emotionally) with it?

Ooohh. Any one power would be cool. Isn't that everyone's wish? To be more, or better, than they are? To be special in some way? (insert moral here)

The invisibility thing is tempting,
as is teleport,
as is telekinesis,
as is time-stop,
as is mind-reading.
They all are a two-edged sword. Like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, it would probably be used selfishly at first, until you get bored, then more altruisticly later on.

I was the 39th person to take this week's Monday Meme!

You know, anybody who reads this should feel free to add their own answers in a comment. To any of these quiz things. While I choose these things 'cause I find them interesting, and for you to get to know me and my thinking, this doesn't have to be a one-way thing, only for me to shout into the wind. Then again, if you want to remain anonymous, nevermind. I'm used to shouting into the wind. I'll post here regardless of any readers.

Recent reading

I had some time on my hands last Friday, waiting for photocall. I picked up a book on CD of Kurt Vonnegut's God Bless You, Dr. Kevorkian. I'd never read it, but have wanted to, and that was as good a time as any. It was only a 55 min. read (or listen). A collection of short essays, originally written for NPR New York, with the premise of a writer, undergoing controlled near death experiences, in order to interview dead celebrities (John Brown, James Earl Ray, Shakespeare, Hitler...), supervised by Dr. Jack himself. Coming from Michigan, Dr. Jack was a bit of a local hero. He did one of his assists just down the road from where I lived. I also heard that he's getting out of prison, but is not going to supervise any more suicides. After all, the guy is about 137 years old. He provided a service that should be widely available to all people. Nobody should be expected to live longer than they should. Modern medicine can keep us alive whether we want to, or our bodies want to, or not. I'm considering getting DNR (do not resuscitate) tattood on my chest. I only wish that people who decide to take that right away from us have a long and painfull death. I find it supremely ironic that a religion that talks about the joys and glories of the afterlife, should make getting there a terrifying experience and a crime. One of my MANY problems with organised religions.

Resignation

Definition:

[n] a formal document giving notice of your intention to resign; "he submitted his resignation as of next month" [n] the act of giving up (a claim or office or possession etc.) [n] acceptance of despair

Well, I can't quit this damned job.
I can't give up, it won't end.
The only thing you can do is accept it and go on. and on. and on.

Photo call was tonight. The incompetant SM (simplistic moron) was in rare form. Letting everybody else do the work while running back and forth to the lobby getting beer and plates of food for himself.

I was almost late for it since I had headphones on listening to some suitably depressing music, and nobody told me the show was over. I just happened to take off the phones and wander down as they were calling everybody to the stage. I wonder if they'd have missed me. Several people knew I was sticking around for it. Of course, S was the only person to stay on headset to chat with, but she was doing all the preset work, and on top of that had to deal with Boss and SM. At one point, SM came all the way up to the booth to talk to me, rather than having to talk to S, to relay it to me. What a Prick. Then I pissed people off by making them take one more bare set shot for the designer (miss you N). Just as the photographer was starting to put his stuff away.

Yes, I'm in another foul mood. We're getting screwed over by our insurance agent, our lawyer skipped town without telling us, we're out of money, and are starting to not pay bills, and are skipping on some of Wifes meds. On top of that, I've laid off the drinking. I was told by a beautiful young lady on our crew that I drink too much. She'd just started smoking again, and I was giving her a hard time about it. She said that if I can have my bad habit, she can have hers. So I stopped. But my plan fails in that I haven't told her that I've stopped. At first I didn't know how long I could stay stopped. I still don't. Being broke is a big help. I'll see her tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I'll tell her then.

I'm also bumming cause I can't go out and party anymore. Not that I don't want to, I just don't have anybody to go with. I can't afford it anyway. It doesn't make it any easier when S and E start going out with other new crew people, closer to their own age. Sometimes (usually) I just wish I never even know about it. I can't join in if I am asked (and I usually end up feeling like a fifth wheel if I do go), and if I'm not, I'd rather not know I wasn't included. Of course there's no way I can say that to them without seeming the consummate bitter prick. Maybe I am. All the other people around here close to my age are. I'm just one of my peers.

So here I am, alone at work again, after 1am. S was exhausted after being out with E and A (the new crew guy I'm trying hard to not be jealous of) until 5 am, and then working noon to midnight. So she left right away. SM came thru after having locked up the front of the building about 45 minutes ago.
For some reason I just can't face going home to Wife. I guess I have to now. It'll probably put me home around 1:30. In bed reading by 2. I should be able to be back here about the time that Wife wakes up tomorrow afternoon. I can handle that.

What a life.

It's irritating that the time stamp is set for when you start the post, not when you finish it. I usually change it 'cause I take so long to write this drivel.