Resignation

Definition:

[n] a formal document giving notice of your intention to resign; "he submitted his resignation as of next month" [n] the act of giving up (a claim or office or possession etc.) [n] acceptance of despair

Well, I can't quit this damned job.
I can't give up, it won't end.
The only thing you can do is accept it and go on. and on. and on.

Photo call was tonight. The incompetant SM (simplistic moron) was in rare form. Letting everybody else do the work while running back and forth to the lobby getting beer and plates of food for himself.

I was almost late for it since I had headphones on listening to some suitably depressing music, and nobody told me the show was over. I just happened to take off the phones and wander down as they were calling everybody to the stage. I wonder if they'd have missed me. Several people knew I was sticking around for it. Of course, S was the only person to stay on headset to chat with, but she was doing all the preset work, and on top of that had to deal with Boss and SM. At one point, SM came all the way up to the booth to talk to me, rather than having to talk to S, to relay it to me. What a Prick. Then I pissed people off by making them take one more bare set shot for the designer (miss you N). Just as the photographer was starting to put his stuff away.

Yes, I'm in another foul mood. We're getting screwed over by our insurance agent, our lawyer skipped town without telling us, we're out of money, and are starting to not pay bills, and are skipping on some of Wifes meds. On top of that, I've laid off the drinking. I was told by a beautiful young lady on our crew that I drink too much. She'd just started smoking again, and I was giving her a hard time about it. She said that if I can have my bad habit, she can have hers. So I stopped. But my plan fails in that I haven't told her that I've stopped. At first I didn't know how long I could stay stopped. I still don't. Being broke is a big help. I'll see her tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I'll tell her then.

I'm also bumming cause I can't go out and party anymore. Not that I don't want to, I just don't have anybody to go with. I can't afford it anyway. It doesn't make it any easier when S and E start going out with other new crew people, closer to their own age. Sometimes (usually) I just wish I never even know about it. I can't join in if I am asked (and I usually end up feeling like a fifth wheel if I do go), and if I'm not, I'd rather not know I wasn't included. Of course there's no way I can say that to them without seeming the consummate bitter prick. Maybe I am. All the other people around here close to my age are. I'm just one of my peers.

So here I am, alone at work again, after 1am. S was exhausted after being out with E and A (the new crew guy I'm trying hard to not be jealous of) until 5 am, and then working noon to midnight. So she left right away. SM came thru after having locked up the front of the building about 45 minutes ago.
For some reason I just can't face going home to Wife. I guess I have to now. It'll probably put me home around 1:30. In bed reading by 2. I should be able to be back here about the time that Wife wakes up tomorrow afternoon. I can handle that.

What a life.

It's irritating that the time stamp is set for when you start the post, not when you finish it. I usually change it 'cause I take so long to write this drivel.