The assorted musings of Hugo Schwyzer

This is a blog I came across tonight. It's an old posting, almost two years, but it hit me very personally. The full blog is linked above, but this is how it starts:

Hugo is posting a lot today.

My fiancee and I did make it out of the house this past weekend, despite the rain and our mutual flu affliction. We went to see A Love Song for Bobby Long starring Scarlett Johansson and John Travolta. It was a passable film if not a deeply memorable one, and the two leads were quite fine. (I do want the soundtrack.)

<>Johansson's character, "Pursey", is 18 and lovely. Travolta plays the title character, a 50ish alcoholic former English professor prone to quoting George Eliot and making odious sexual remarks to Pursey. At one point,following a particularly obscene comment, Pursey turns to Bobby in hurt and frustration and cries out "But I'm just a girl." It's the line that lingered for me. Pursey is legally an adult, and the film makes clear she is not sexually unexperienced -- but the plain power of that one line drove home for me the reality we often choose to ignore, that those who appear outwardly fully adult may still be in need of our care and protection.
End quote

It goes on to question, examine, and analyze the older man/younger woman relationship. The actual post isn't really long, but there are two years worth of comments which are riveting. I read about half of them before I decided to bookmark the page and finish later.
It hits home because this is an attraction that I deal with constantly. It's odd that every serious relationship in my life has been with older women, but that now, at 42, I find most of my friends are younger women, who I have a varying degree of attraction to. Some I work closely with, and have to watch my every word and action, not unlike the college professor in the blog entry. With others, it's an implicit imposibility for reciprocation that I accept and cherish the relationship and friendship I have with them; for unlike an aquaintance of mine, I will not eschew a friendship if I cannot have the relationship I might fantasize about (yes, I've blogged about him, and no I'll give no more information). Anyway, I'd be interested in any comments, either here to the blog, or privately to my email, about any experiences you may have had with age difference relationship.

still

Well, I'm feeling a bit better. I'm still a snot factory, and am going thru tissue by the boxfull. This week has been irritating and trying. Last weekend was Heaven. I had almost 4 days off. Only had to run the show on Friday evening, but stayed away until then. Then I had Sat thru Monday to sleep and heal. I did a lot of one, and some of the latter. My strength is back up a bit, but I keep dripping back into my throat making me cough. I need to start chugging the cough syrup D. But then this week has been three days of creature features, and also night shows, making for long days. My one evening off, Thursday, I didn't have to run the show, but there was a 'talkback' or Q&A session afterwards that I had to be back in for. I spent dinnertime with S at Borders and then out for drinks and nachos at a bar. Mmmmm. yummy all around.

Now we're seriously gearing up for Oliver. Rehearsals start next Tuesday and I need to have preliminary ideas ground out by then, to present to the Director and cast. Maybe, with luck, we'll have a ground plan for the set by then. The aforementioned website now has the most recent groundplan suggestion, and it seems to meet with general approval. now the details...

Socially I'm bored. I desperately want to go out drinking (and that may even be good to kick my cold), but I'm constantly short of money. I always have my slush fund for rainy days, but that is slowly being depleted. Thursday evening was a bit of a blow to my stash. I'm also finding myself craving female companionship. I miss going out and schmoozing with ladies. I think J might be a really fun drunk, but am not getting the opportunity to see. Patience, you dirty old man, patience. But when I begin to remember some of my dreams, I know it's getting bad. I may not need to change my sheets, but my morning showers are getting colder.
Say no more!

Sick as a DOG

I hate being sick, 'cause work is so perpetually short-staffed that I can't take time off, real time off, to just sleep. Monday was a catch up day, so no day off there. Tuesday and Thursday (today) we had creature features... er, I mean, Student Matinees at 10am. Tuesday night, I was able to sleep fully, not having a show until 7:30 that next night. I slept 13 hours, and really could have slept a few more, but wanted to get up and watch a movie or two that's been piling up unwatched from our last shopping trip. A week or so ago we watched Resident Evil. so yesterday it was Resident Evil 2. I thought it better than the first one. Not bad for a schl0ck zombies-take-over-the-world movie. Kind of a cross between Night of the Living Dead and Escape from New York. With Milla Jovovich (funny, when the medical computers show a wireframe simulation of the patients body, she has boobs, but they disappear when they show her for real).
Work continues. We had an hour-and-a-half production meeting today for Oliver, our next show. A very un-productive production meeting. The guest director, the designer, as well as the musical Director were all phone-conferenced in. We're starting to get final ideas. The designer is posting stuff on a website for us to look at. Although we pointed out today that there was no room for the 10 piece band in his preliminary sketches. Oops.

I just want to go home. I hope I don't fall asleep during the show tonight. That would be bad. This mornings show was eventful, Shitty SM missing Q's, actors forgetting props like matches to relight the candle that blows out. Oops, ok Viking, skip the next two cues (my commentary, not the SMs, he was totally worthless. Wait, have I said that before...?), oh, and props glued together, coming unglued on stage, and stage crew striking clutter that was supposed to be there. Better tonight. I also found out that my favorite Holland will be running the show on Tuesday. YEAH.
Tomorrow is Opening night. Big party, and plenty of drinking to kill the pain. I plan on drinking whether I'm healthy or not. The new Prop girl is really itching for a good drinking binge, and I'm itching to help her indulge.
Oh, I'll be good. Probably. Unless I can get away with it.
I'll update my pictures soon.

typical October

Typical in that we usually get snow of some sort before Halloween. The last two years, it's been the week of, and just a light flurry in the air. This year, and maybe it's a portent of winter to come, but we got actual snow-on-the-ground snow and on the 12th! Even today, my North-facing front door still had snow on the steps. Yippeeeee. Of course, the dogs share my sentiment, though Wife does NOT.
It's also quite a treat at work, since the gas got turned off in the building for the summer to save money, and hasn't been turned back on yet. So, as a result, we get the AMBIENCE of snow and winter, without the actual snow in the auditorium. Our new props girl is from Tennessee, and is freezing her butt off (and she doesn't have much to spare). So we're all wandering around with scarves and hats on, working extra hard to stay warm. Mmmm Rum. For health reasons, you understand...
Which is another point. Boss has recently had a cold/flu thing. Of course, he insists on working thru it, so now several others are fighting it, myself included. So each night, I dose myself heavilly with NyQuil, and each morning when I wake up (extra groggy), I dose myself with extra vitamins. So far, I think I'm keeping it at bay, though exhaustion doesn't help any. Many long days, helping with the set, and babysitting the new TD, trying to keep his priorities on track (making sure he understands the importance of some things, 'cause likely as not, he is unaware of the nature of the problem. "Oh, those doors go in a wall?").
So we teched Act One last night, and Tech Act II tonight, both with costumes, Tomorrow, Sat., is The whole show in the afternoon, without costumes (not as fun as it sounds), and Full Dress Rehearsal tomorrow night, with an audience on Sunday night. And we still don't have a pair of doors on the set, most of the wall coverings haven't been made or hung yet, and the cornice isn't finished yet. But the window has a second coat of paint, so all is well.

Marijuana breakthrough

From one of my favorite blog reads. Jake Christie. His blog links above and to the right.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Tuesday Newsday

Marijuana may stave off Alzheimer's
New research shows that THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, may prevent the progression of Alzheimer's disease. According to doctors, Alzheimer's disease causes "memory loss, impaired decision-making, and diminished language and movement skills," but marijuana can curb this. Marijuana is remarkably safe with only a few side effects, including memory loss, impaired decision-making, and diminished language and movement skills.

a very long week

It's been very strenuous at work these days. Our new TD can't seem to be able to read working drawings. I've spent several days working with him, helping out in the shop, trying to keep things moving forward on the next show. Now I'm not opposed to helping out a newbie, but there's a reason I don't want that job.

So we're behind on the set, and I had to focus my lights without a full set. Again. I'm starting to think about cuing for Sherlock, and will have a cue list before the end of the weekend, and start writing cues next week. I'm going to take pictures of the set in progress probably tomorrow.

We have a new props designer for the next three shows. Call her J. She's young, Mid 20's at most. She's a freelancer in from Tennessee. She's also not the most experienced techie. What is it with these kids and analyzing a script. It says in the script that Moriarity shoots Holmes in the shoulder, and blood squirts thru his shirt. Where does that imply that the gun doesn't need to be practical (firing)? And why do all our guns go missing at our theater?