Hmmm

I feel the need to vent, but don't know how to begin. I'm upset and distressed, and can't pinpoint the source. Just a general anxiety. Woolf had a preview show last night, and there were some things on the set that were not finished that E had wanted done by then. She'd had a bad work day, and, thru various factors, didn't get as much done as she'd hoped. Since I can't help out during the day, I stayed to help out. I asked her if she was going to stay to work, and she said yes, but that she was going out for a drink with S before starting. The biggest job was the cornice, all ladder work, lots of angles, not all of them 90 degs., and some compound angles. I figured that I could start on that, starting on the side without any serious problems, only square corners, and short walls. She told me not to, that she didn't want to try to match my work later on. OK, sounded a bit spurrious, but ok. "What else?" Well, there was trim to go on around the stairway, but since it used some of the same trim as the cornice, she didn't want to start that until the cornice was done; if she were to run out, she wanted to run out on the stairs, not the cornice. Fair enough. "What else?" She found two little (10 minutes each) jobs, some trim and masking. When I'd finished, she was nowhere to be found, off with one of her friends, probably doing other jobs on her list, or pulling materials, or maybe S had picked her up for that drink, but after waiting for a while, with no sign of her, I left. I'd gotten the vague impression that she didn't want me around. I don't know if she didn't want me around when they all went out for drinks (not a problem, I couldn't go if asked, no money) or what the deal was. I went out to my car, poured a drink into my travel mug and took a long walk around that beautiful campus. I finally went home about one.

Restless night. not much good sleep. I've been taking a benedryl or two for hay fever at night. The night before, I took two, and was too drugged to wake up the next morning. Last night I took one. I'm wide awake early, but not much more rested. PT is late this morning, 9:30, so I have time to blog. Having dial up problems, can't connect. Wife mentioned that she couldn't last night either. So I'm writing this in wordpad, and I'll copy and paste it in later. I should probably call the ISP and find out if there's a problem. Oh well. Also, sometime in the middle of the night, I remembered that tomorrow is opening night for Woolf. I remember what happened last time, and can't help wondering if there will be a post-show party somewhere. Wondering if I'll be told about it. Wondering if I'll be in any kind of mood for a party. I sure am not right now; more in the mood to go off by myself with a bottle.

Ok, enough blogging for now. It's 8 and I have to get moving. I also jotted down some ideas for an entry last night during the show. Watching a show about George and Martha's fractured and disintegrating marriage, makes me think about my own. So I may come up with something over lunch. We'll see what kind of mood I'm in.