Typical

So it's pre-dawn, and typical after a night of heavy (?) drinking, I'm wide awake. I vaguely recall having some weird dreams. This is unusual for me to even remember dreaming. I remember that I kept getting pushed around by a woman. Physically. Usually just a jab/push to my chest that sends me flying backwards over a table or something. Sounds pretty symbolic to me. Sounds pretty symptomatic to me too. I'm feeling pushed around and controlled by various women in my life. D with her silent aversion of me, S with her tacit snubbing of me (and me letting it get to me), and my letting-it-out talk with her, and a subsequent email further explaining (hmm, and abasing? gonna have to reread that email) myself.
Oh well. Curious stuff. I am really tempted to order some for S. I know she loves the stuff, and there is some of it with her family name on it in my price range. Wife, of course, couldn't know. I might not even let S know. I like doing shit like that, anonymous gifts. Screw only doing gift things at holidays. As I said before, why should that one (or two) day be any different than any other day. And anonymous gifts let it be enjoyed without any of the ingratiating or implied overtones (such as, why a man old enough to be her father is giving expensive gifts behind his wifes back... yeah, those overtones).

Hey, I just found the little toggle menu at the bottom here to change the time stamp of my posts. Has that always been there? Did I just accidentally turn it off a while back and not notice before now? Hello Captain Clueless!