Great place to work

I'm up early, so I guess I'll blog.
Had the first rehearsal for Virginia Woolf last night. Immediately there was a great sense of comraderie and family between the people. Most of us have known each other for many years, and respect each others work. There were lots of hugs and kisses going around. I can't help comparing the environment of the two theaters I work at. One seems open and friendly (at least to me, other people have felt snubbed and unwanted by the same people), and the other seems stifling and oppressive, more of an atmosphere of impending doom. It's sad that the latter place is my main job, and that the former is only for the occasional job-in. These people are some of the most talented that I've ever worked with, and I have a great amount of respect for their talents, and genuinely like them as people. Some of them very much. E is one of them, and I think I've mentioned K before too. It's my usual habit, since these two ladies are usually the last to leave the building, to walk out with them to their cars. K left first and we stayed and chatted at her car for a while. E was still closing up the building, so I then walked back in to leave with her. We chatted a bit about the show, and about people. Then one of her old friends from the college showed up, and I was then chopped liver. She stayed close to him, chatting closely with him, and leaving me out. Not one to stick around when I'm not wanted, and since she had an escort, I took off, yelling good night out the window, and getting a wave in reply. Only reinforced to me that our relationship will never again be more than coldly professional. I only wish that I understood WHY I'm so obsessed with her; why, despite her callous, immature, attitude, and recent cold shoulder, I still find myself wanting to love her. No that's not quite right, my loving her is immaterial to her feelings. I wish she felt half as much tenderness towards me as I feel for her. Oh well, she's in my karass, that's my only explanation.