Women have an excuse
... a physical explanation for it. Me? I just get bitchy. Grumpy. Grouchy. Irrascible. Peevish.
Unpleasant to be around. I don't even like myself when my Black Moods start. I used to be able to clock them, predict them almost. It used to be lunar cyclical. Then it changed. First I'd be hyper at the full and black at the new. Then it reversed. Now I feel one of my turns coming on (appologies to Pink Floyd), and it's half full. I don't understand it anymore, and it's kind of scary. I know what set it off today too. It's such a little thing that really shouldn't bug me but it did. That's what happens, I take EVERYTHING personally. Of course I've been depressed since Monday when N told me she was leaving. Last night "the Girls" N, S, and E whom I've mentioned before as a clique, went out clubbing, probably karaoke (S looked dressed to kill, low cut red top, black pants... WOW). That doesn't bug me, the 3 of them are a whole lot closer than I ever could be.
Today I happened to walk in from the parking lot with S. We also met another co-worker, L, on the way in. L is a bit older. Not older than me, nobody is older than me, but older than S. He's also gay, which gives him a bond with S that I just dont understand. Anyway...
She runs up to him, and, with me standing not 3 feet away, starts whispering to him. Loud enough that I can tell she's telling him something that happened at their party last night, but enough of a whisper that I know that I'm not supposed to hear what she's saying. I turned away and tried not to hear the secret news that L and she get so excited about, that I can't be trusted with. I just made some mumbled remark about standing out in the heat and went on inside. They followed behind, but headed to the other set of doors. I was then a non-entity as they continued their conversation. That was the seed. The next knell on my mood came just 10 minutes later. Our TD had been told to finish that previous project for tonights performance. To do this he had to roll the scaffolding over the floor that N had just finished painting fresh clean black. Oh it was dry, but left these four, no eight, white wheel tracks across from one side to the other. Again, it was not my business. I wouldn't have to fix it, TD would (N would see to that), so why did it irk me so? I spent the rest of the day, doing my cleanup and odd jobs in a sour, black mood.
The only bright spot in the day... it's payday. A chance to replenish my money stash. I keep money for myself from any odd jobs, and bit by bit from my paycheck. It varies from over $100 to, like now, about $20. I use this for things that Wife needn't know about, the infrequent, very occasional night out with "the Girls" or other co-workers, or, more likely, booze to suage my soul, which I drink abundantly and share liberally with any who ask. A week ago it was Capt. Morgan which was on sale. Today, since it was on sale for $10, I picked up a bottle of ciclon, a spiced rum/tequilla/lime blend. I'm not a big tequilla fan, but it intrigued me, so we'll see. Tonight I'll tap into that in a party of my own. Beats going home.
Though I should, I bit Wifes head off when she nagged at me to get yet another prescription of hers filled.
I always harken back to a song in LotR:
Ho Ho Ho,
to the bottle I go
To ease my sorrow,
and drown my woe.
OK, another bright point. (Hmmm this is mighty tasty stuff, this ciclon). I made a date to go and see a show next Friday. I've known K for as long as I've been in town, about 12 years. She was one of our crew people at the theatre. Now she works for the other, offshoot theatre that I also work with. The community theatre across town is doing CHESS. We both know and like the lead actors, so we're going together. I like this woman a lot, and wouldn't mind showing her how much I like her, but she's too respectfull of Wife. Of course, as horny as I've been lately, I'm having dreams about EVERY woman wrapping her legs around my ears and me going to town. That's what I miss most. Giving a woman pleasure. Licking and stroking and caressing and probing. Damn. I need a vacation. I do want to go camping at the end of the month, I just need to finalize plans. Any of you women want to join me...?
One of my all-time favorite BBC comedies, Mulberry. It's not on tape or DVD. I actually cried when I discovered I taped over the episodes I had. It was a good fix for a black mood. And this ciclon is doing a good job too.
Unpleasant to be around. I don't even like myself when my Black Moods start. I used to be able to clock them, predict them almost. It used to be lunar cyclical. Then it changed. First I'd be hyper at the full and black at the new. Then it reversed. Now I feel one of my turns coming on (appologies to Pink Floyd), and it's half full. I don't understand it anymore, and it's kind of scary. I know what set it off today too. It's such a little thing that really shouldn't bug me but it did. That's what happens, I take EVERYTHING personally. Of course I've been depressed since Monday when N told me she was leaving. Last night "the Girls" N, S, and E whom I've mentioned before as a clique, went out clubbing, probably karaoke (S looked dressed to kill, low cut red top, black pants... WOW). That doesn't bug me, the 3 of them are a whole lot closer than I ever could be.
Today I happened to walk in from the parking lot with S. We also met another co-worker, L, on the way in. L is a bit older. Not older than me, nobody is older than me, but older than S. He's also gay, which gives him a bond with S that I just dont understand. Anyway...
She runs up to him, and, with me standing not 3 feet away, starts whispering to him. Loud enough that I can tell she's telling him something that happened at their party last night, but enough of a whisper that I know that I'm not supposed to hear what she's saying. I turned away and tried not to hear the secret news that L and she get so excited about, that I can't be trusted with. I just made some mumbled remark about standing out in the heat and went on inside. They followed behind, but headed to the other set of doors. I was then a non-entity as they continued their conversation. That was the seed. The next knell on my mood came just 10 minutes later. Our TD had been told to finish that previous project for tonights performance. To do this he had to roll the scaffolding over the floor that N had just finished painting fresh clean black. Oh it was dry, but left these four, no eight, white wheel tracks across from one side to the other. Again, it was not my business. I wouldn't have to fix it, TD would (N would see to that), so why did it irk me so? I spent the rest of the day, doing my cleanup and odd jobs in a sour, black mood.
The only bright spot in the day... it's payday. A chance to replenish my money stash. I keep money for myself from any odd jobs, and bit by bit from my paycheck. It varies from over $100 to, like now, about $20. I use this for things that Wife needn't know about, the infrequent, very occasional night out with "the Girls" or other co-workers, or, more likely, booze to suage my soul, which I drink abundantly and share liberally with any who ask. A week ago it was Capt. Morgan which was on sale. Today, since it was on sale for $10, I picked up a bottle of ciclon, a spiced rum/tequilla/lime blend. I'm not a big tequilla fan, but it intrigued me, so we'll see. Tonight I'll tap into that in a party of my own. Beats going home.
Though I should, I bit Wifes head off when she nagged at me to get yet another prescription of hers filled.
I always harken back to a song in LotR:
Ho Ho Ho,
to the bottle I go
To ease my sorrow,
and drown my woe.
OK, another bright point. (Hmmm this is mighty tasty stuff, this ciclon). I made a date to go and see a show next Friday. I've known K for as long as I've been in town, about 12 years. She was one of our crew people at the theatre. Now she works for the other, offshoot theatre that I also work with. The community theatre across town is doing CHESS. We both know and like the lead actors, so we're going together. I like this woman a lot, and wouldn't mind showing her how much I like her, but she's too respectfull of Wife. Of course, as horny as I've been lately, I'm having dreams about EVERY woman wrapping her legs around my ears and me going to town. That's what I miss most. Giving a woman pleasure. Licking and stroking and caressing and probing. Damn. I need a vacation. I do want to go camping at the end of the month, I just need to finalize plans. Any of you women want to join me...?
One of my all-time favorite BBC comedies, Mulberry. It's not on tape or DVD. I actually cried when I discovered I taped over the episodes I had. It was a good fix for a black mood. And this ciclon is doing a good job too.
posted by Intothelight4now at 10:58 PM
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